How to Become Nothing? | Parshat Masei
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Parshah Summary – P’shat
Parshat Matot
The parshah opens with Moses teaching the laws about oaths and vows and how they may be annulled. The Israelites then go to war against Midian for the incident at Baal Pe’or in which the Midianites attempted to corrupt the Israelites by seducing them into idolatry. After the Israelites defeat the Midianites, the Torah gives a detailed account of the war spoils and how they were allocated amongst the people, the warriors, the Levites and the high priest. The tribes of Reuven and Gad (later joined by half of the tribe of Menasheh) ask Moses for permission to remain in the good pasture lands east of the Jordan rather than crossing over with the rest of the tribes. Moses is initially angered by the request, but then agrees on the condition that they not abandon the other tribes when in need of military assistance. Masei The forty-two journeys and encampments of Israel are listed, from the Exodus all the way to their present position on the banks of the Jordan river. The boundaries of the Promised Land are given, and cities of refuge are designated as havens and places of exile for those who accidentally kill another person and are seeking protection from retribution. The daughters of Tzelafhad marry within their own tribe of Menasheh, so that the estate which they inherit from their father should not pass to the province of another tribe.
Torah of Awakening | Jewish Meditation Teaching
…אֵ֜לֶּה מַסְעֵ֣י בְנֵֽי־יִשְׂרָאֵ֗ל אֲשֶׁ֥ר יָצְא֛וּ מֵאֶ֥רֶץ מִצְרַ֖יִם These are the journeys of the Children of Israel who went out from the land of Egypt… – BaMidbar (Numbers) 33:1
There is a teaching attributed to the Baal Shem, in which he said: “A person who forgets all the Torah they know during prayer is closer to God than one who remembers all of it.” In other words, the Reality of the Sacred is not won by the acquiring of knowledge, expertise, experience, or anything that advances our development; it is won by letting them go. It arises on its own within one who has let go of their somebody-ness and has become a Nobody. There is a story of a rabbi who was davening (praying) with great intensity toward the end of Yom Kippur, when he suddenly became overwhelmed with the realization of how attached to vanity, to hevel, he had become. “Ribono Shel Olam! Master of the universe!” he cried out, “I am nothing! I am nothing!” When the hazzan (the cantor) saw him do this, he too became inspired and cried out as well: “Ribono Shel Olam! I am nothing! I am nothing!” The truth was infectious. Suddenly, a poor congregant, Shmully the shoemaker, also became deeply moved and exclaimed as well: “Ribono Shel Olam! I am nothing! I am nothing!”
When the hazzan saw Shmully’s enthusiasm, he turned to the rabbi with incredulity: “Look who thinks he’s nothing!” The aim of spirituality is often expressed as an achieving of nothingness. And yet, Parshat Masei has the opposite flavor; it’s aim seems to be the fleshing out of Israel’s somethingness. …אֵ֜לֶּה מַסְעֵ֣י בְנֵֽי־יִשְׂרָאֵ֗ל אֲשֶׁ֥ר יָצְא֛וּ מֵאֶ֥רֶץ מִצְרַ֖יִם These are the journeys of the Children of Israel who went out from the land of Egypt… – BaMidbar (Numbers) 33:1 This begins the origin story, from the Exodus through the recounting of all the places they visited and battles they engaged. It then gives instructions for the future once they enter the land – how they should divide it between the tribes, and so on. As the last parshah leading into the last book of the Torah, it functions to define the identity of the Israelites – to affirm them as a Something: “This is where you come from, this is where you’re going, and this is what you have to do…” The implication is that identity and story are important; they give us direction and definition. And yet, Rabbi Akavyah ben Mahalalel seems to agree more with the Baal Shem Tov: עֲקַבְיָא בֶן מַהֲלַלְאֵל אוֹמֵר... דַּע מֵאַיִן בָּאתָ, וּלְאָן אַתָּה הוֹלֵךְ, ... מֵאַיִן בָּאתָ, מִטִּפָּה סְרוּחָה ... וּלְאָן אַתָּה הוֹלֵךְ, לִמְקוֹם עָפָר רִמָּה וְתוֹלֵעָה... Akavyah ben Mahalalel said: “... Know from where you come, and where you are going... From where do you come? From a putrid drop. And where are you going? To a place of dust, worms and maggots...” – Pirkei Avot 3:1 While this passage seems to begin with the same premise as the parsha, advising to “know from where you come and where you are going,” the answers have the opposite effect; there is no special identity of having overcome slavery and become a holy people, no promised land, just the harsh biological facts: you came from slime, and you’re going to a “place of dust, worms and maggots.” The first passage tells us who we are; it tells us we are Something; the second knocks down our stories; it tells us we are Nothing. There are two Hebrew words that are sometimes translated as nothing: ayin and hevel, with opposite implications. Ayin is actually the spiritual goal of the Baal Shem Tov: to realize the dimension of our own being that is “no-thing-ness” beyond all form. This is the open space of awareness itself, boundless and free, that which recognizes the Sacred. The Tanya points out that while we may think of the splitting of the Sea of Reeds as a great miracle, the far greater miracle is that there is a sea at all, that there is anything at all. The splitting of the sea was merely a manipulation of something that was already there, but the fact of Existence Itself is a bringing forth of יֵשׁ מֵאַיִן yesh me-ayin, Something from Nothing. The Maggid of Metzritch took this even further, saying that as great as the creation of the universe is יֵשׁ מֵאַיִן yesh me-ayin, Something from Nothing, even greater is our task: to transform the Something back to the Nothing – אַיִן מִיֵּשׁ ayin mi-yesh! Meaning: right now, as you read these words, the words are a something. You perceive the something, but what is it that perceives? The awareness that perceives is literally no-thing; it is that which perceives all particular things – all sensations, all sensory perceptions, all feelings, all thoughts, even our own sense of identity. This is the אַיִן ayin inherent in our own being, our innermost identity, not separate from the identity of Existence Itself, looking through our eyes, hearing through our ears. The other word for “nothing,” which has a negative implication, is הֶבֶל hevel, which could be translated as nothingness, futility, emptiness, or vanity. הֲבֵ֤ל הֲבָלִים֙ אָמַ֣ר קֹהֶ֔לֶת הֲבֵ֥ל הֲבָלִ֖ים הַכֹּ֥ל הָֽבֶל׃ Havel havalim – vanity of vanities – said Kohelet — vanity of vanities, all is vanity! – Kohelet (Ecclesiastes) 1:2 This famous opening line from Ecclesiastes springs from King Solomon’s disillusionment with all his experiences and accomplishments. He had everything, and could do anything he wanted – and yet, all was nothingness; everything comes and goes, a time for this and a time for that, nothing is really new, nothing really satisfies. The same word is used in the haftara: כֹּ֣ה אָמַ֣ר יְהוָ֗ה מַה־מָּצְא֨וּ אֲבוֹתֵיכֶ֥ם בִּי֙ עָ֔וֶל כִּ֥י רָחֲק֖וּ מֵעָלָ֑י וַיֵּֽלְכ֛וּ אַחֲרֵ֥י הַהֶ֖בֶל וַיֶּהְבָּֽלוּ׃ Thus says the Divine: What did your ancestors find in Me that was wrong, that they distanced themselves from Me and went after nothingness (hevel), and became nothingness? – Yirmiyahu (Jermiah) 2:4 Both these passages point to our human condition: we tend to make much of the hevel, running after this and away from that, but it is all for naught; we are going to “place of dust, worms and maggots.” Still, as the haftara implores, there is a way that leads to the Divine, that leads to Wholeness, beyond all the hevel, to the ayin. As the last line of Ecclesiastes says: ס֥וֹף דָּבָ֖ר הַכֹּ֣ל נִשְׁמָ֑ע אֶת־הָאֱלֹהִ֤ים יְרָא֙ וְאֶת־מִצְוֺתָ֣יו שְׁמ֔וֹר כִּי־זֶ֖ה כָּל־הָאָדָֽם The end of the matter, when all is heard: Be aware of the Divine and guard the mitzvot! For this is the Whole Person. Be aware of the Divine – that is, know the Ayin that underlies everything, the Ayin that is aware, right now, through you. Guard the mitzvot – that is, don’t act from the motive of running after or away from the hevel, but from service of the Source, the ayin from which all springs and to which all will return. Make That your identity. …אֵ֜לֶּה מַסְעֵ֣י בְנֵֽי־יִשְׂרָאֵ֗ל אֲשֶׁ֥ר יָצְא֛וּ מֵאֶ֥רֶץ מִצְרַ֖יִם These are the journeys of the Children of Israel who went out from the land of Egypt… The Divine has brought you to this moment to realize your inner freedom and has given you the only important choice there is, in this moment: to turn from the hevel of ego to the underlying Ayin of your deepest nature, and to sanctify this moment in which we find ourselves, in service of the One. This is the Path of ק Koof, sanctification of this moment.
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