Get free & become unstoppable! | Parshat Devarim & ש SHIN
Shin ש | Jewish Kabbalah Meditation: "Fire of Awareness"
Parshah Summary – P’shat
The fifth and final book of the Torah opens with Moses beginning his final address of the Torah to the Children of Israel, who are all assembled on the bank of the Jordan river. He begins by recounting the events and teachings that were given in the course of their forty-year journey from Egypt, to Sinai, to the Promised Land, both rebuking them for their failings and encouraging them to remain faithful to the path set before them. In the course of the parshah, Moses recalls his appointment of judges and leaders to decide cases of justice and teach them Torah; the journey from Sinai through the desert; the sending of the spies and the people’s recoiling from entering the Land, leading to that entire generation dying out in the desert.
Also recounted are more recent events: the refusal of the nations of Mo-av and Ammon to allow the Israelites to pass through their countries; the wars against the Emorite kings Sikhon and Og, and the settlement of their lands by the tribes of Reuven and Gad and part of the tribe of Manasheh; and Moses’ message to his successor, Joshua, who will take over Moses’ leadership after his death.
Torah of Awakening | Jewish Meditation Teaching
...אֵ֣לֶּה הַדְּבָרִ֗ים אֲשֶׁ֨ר דִּבֶּ֤ר מֹשֶׁה֙ אֶל־כל־יִשְׂרָאֵ֔ל These are the words that Moses spoke to all Israel… -D’varim (Deuteronomy) 1:1, Parshat D’varim
Once there was a scorpion who was looking for a way to get to the other side of a river. As he searched up and down the banks, he came upon a fox who was about to swim across. “Please let me swim on your back!” implored the scorpion. “No way!” replied the fox, “You’ll sting me!” “Why would I do that?” argued the scorpion, “If I stung you, we would both drown.” After thinking about it, the fox agreed. The scorpion climbed up on his back, and the fox began to swim across. But, when they were about half way across the river, the scorpion stung the fox. As the poison began its work, the fox started to sink. “Why did you do it?” said the fox, “Now we’ll both drown!” “I couldn’t help myself,” said the scorpion, “It’s my nature.”
אֵ֣לֶּה הַדְּבָרִ֗ים... – These are the words… Moses speaks his final words to the Children of Israel before he dies. They too stand by a river, preparing to cross, and he reminds them of their journeys up to that point. He begins by recounting the highest moment, when they stood at Mt. Sinai and received the revelation. And yet, as sublime as Sinai was, Moses reminds them of God’s command not to stay there: רַב־לָכֶ֥ם שֶׁ֖בֶת בָּהָ֥ר הַזֶּֽה׃ – “It is too much already for you to still be dwelling by this mountain!” In other words, don’t be the scorpion – life is change – don’t resist. The words of God are urging you to move on, to free yourself from the comfortable. The world is turning; you must turn with it. פְּנ֣וּ וּסְע֣וּ לָכֶ֗ם – Turn and journey for yourselves! The journey is actually “for yourselves” – meaning, it is for your own well-being that you must not cling to comfort and the avoidance of pain. וּבֹ֨אוּ הַ֥ר הָֽאֱמֹרִי֮ – Come to the mountain of the Amorites… The tribe of the Amorites – Emori אֱמֹרִי – has the same letters as the verb “to speak” – אמר aleph-mem-reish. The hint here is that you must leave the “mountain” where you hear the word of God, so that you can come to a new mountain, where there will be new words; don’t cling to the old words… בָּעֲרָבָה – in the plain… But, sometimes the new “words” will not be the ecstasy of a “mountain” experience; there will also the עֲרָבָה aravah, the “plain” – the daily work of life, a mixture (עֵרֶב erev) of many ordinary experiences. וּבַשְּׁפֵלָה – in the lowland… Then there is the שְּׁפֵלָה sh’felah – the “lowland” – times of sadness, of tragedy, of failure, of loss – all part of God’s “speech” to us. These times are medicine for the distortions of ego… וּבַנֶּ֖גֶב – in the desert… Then there is the נֶּגֶב negev – the “desert” – times when your life and work don’t seem to be yielding anything good, but we must persevere through these stretches. These times train us to stay focused and true to our path… וּבְח֣וֹף הַיָּ֑ם – and on the seacoast… Then there is the חוֹף הַיָּם hof hayam – the “seacoast” – like when the Children of Israel stood at the Sea of Reeds, with the Egyptian army behind them. These are times when our path involves risk, when we are tempted to fear and despair. This is training for the supreme quality of Trust, to take the leap into the unknown… עַד־הַנָּהָ֥ר הַגָּדֹ֖ל – as far as the Great River… The Great River is at the end of the journey, because if you can learn to work with life in all of its manifestations, you will see: Life itself is the Great River. God incarnates as your mind and your body, for just a brief time, to take a journey on this Great River. If we wish to flow with it, we need to be attentive to what life is telling us, to the words God is speaking to us. This is the Path of the letter ש Shin, the letter of Sh’ma, of deep listening. It is also the letter of fire: the fire of meditation, the fire of Presence.
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How to Become Nothing? | Parshat Masei
Koof | Guided Jewish Kabbalah Meditation
Parshah Summary – P’shat
Parshat Matot
The parshah opens with Moses teaching the laws about oaths and vows and how they may be annulled. The Israelites then go to war against Midian for the incident at Baal Pe’or in which the Midianites attempted to corrupt the Israelites by seducing them into idolatry. After the Israelites defeat the Midianites, the Torah gives a detailed account of the war spoils and how they were allocated amongst the people, the warriors, the Levites and the high priest. The tribes of Reuven and Gad (later joined by half of the tribe of Menasheh) ask Moses for permission to remain in the good pasture lands east of the Jordan rather than crossing over with the rest of the tribes. Moses is initially angered by the request, but then agrees on the condition that they not abandon the other tribes when in need of military assistance. Masei The forty-two journeys and encampments of Israel are listed, from the Exodus all the way to their present position on the banks of the Jordan river. The boundaries of the Promised Land are given, and cities of refuge are designated as havens and places of exile for those who accidentally kill another person and are seeking protection from retribution. The daughters of Tzelafhad marry within their own tribe of Menasheh, so that the estate which they inherit from their father should not pass to the province of another tribe.
Torah of Awakening | Jewish Meditation Teaching
…אֵ֜לֶּה מַסְעֵ֣י בְנֵֽי־יִשְׂרָאֵ֗ל אֲשֶׁ֥ר יָצְא֛וּ מֵאֶ֥רֶץ מִצְרַ֖יִם These are the journeys of the Children of Israel who went out from the land of Egypt… – BaMidbar (Numbers) 33:1
There is a teaching attributed to the Baal Shem, in which he said: “A person who forgets all the Torah they know during prayer is closer to God than one who remembers all of it.” In other words, the Reality of the Sacred is not won by the acquiring of knowledge, expertise, experience, or anything that advances our development; it is won by letting them go. It arises on its own within one who has let go of their somebody-ness and has become a Nobody. There is a story of a rabbi who was davening (praying) with great intensity toward the end of Yom Kippur, when he suddenly became overwhelmed with the realization of how attached to vanity, to hevel, he had become. “Ribono Shel Olam! Master of the universe!” he cried out, “I am nothing! I am nothing!” When the hazzan (the cantor) saw him do this, he too became inspired and cried out as well: “Ribono Shel Olam! I am nothing! I am nothing!” The truth was infectious. Suddenly, a poor congregant, Shmully the shoemaker, also became deeply moved and exclaimed as well: “Ribono Shel Olam! I am nothing! I am nothing!”
When the hazzan saw Shmully’s enthusiasm, he turned to the rabbi with incredulity: “Look who thinks he’s nothing!” The aim of spirituality is often expressed as an achieving of nothingness. And yet, Parshat Masei has the opposite flavor; it’s aim seems to be the fleshing out of Israel’s somethingness. …אֵ֜לֶּה מַסְעֵ֣י בְנֵֽי־יִשְׂרָאֵ֗ל אֲשֶׁ֥ר יָצְא֛וּ מֵאֶ֥רֶץ מִצְרַ֖יִם These are the journeys of the Children of Israel who went out from the land of Egypt… – BaMidbar (Numbers) 33:1 This begins the origin story, from the Exodus through the recounting of all the places they visited and battles they engaged. It then gives instructions for the future once they enter the land – how they should divide it between the tribes, and so on. As the last parshah leading into the last book of the Torah, it functions to define the identity of the Israelites – to affirm them as a Something: “This is where you come from, this is where you’re going, and this is what you have to do…” The implication is that identity and story are important; they give us direction and definition. And yet, Rabbi Akavyah ben Mahalalel seems to agree more with the Baal Shem Tov: עֲקַבְיָא בֶן מַהֲלַלְאֵל אוֹמֵר... דַּע מֵאַיִן בָּאתָ, וּלְאָן אַתָּה הוֹלֵךְ, ... מֵאַיִן בָּאתָ, מִטִּפָּה סְרוּחָה ... וּלְאָן אַתָּה הוֹלֵךְ, לִמְקוֹם עָפָר רִמָּה וְתוֹלֵעָה... Akavyah ben Mahalalel said: “... Know from where you come, and where you are going... From where do you come? From a putrid drop. And where are you going? To a place of dust, worms and maggots...” – Pirkei Avot 3:1 While this passage seems to begin with the same premise as the parsha, advising to “know from where you come and where you are going,” the answers have the opposite effect; there is no special identity of having overcome slavery and become a holy people, no promised land, just the harsh biological facts: you came from slime, and you’re going to a “place of dust, worms and maggots.” The first passage tells us who we are; it tells us we are Something; the second knocks down our stories; it tells us we are Nothing. There are two Hebrew words that are sometimes translated as nothing: ayin and hevel, with opposite implications. Ayin is actually the spiritual goal of the Baal Shem Tov: to realize the dimension of our own being that is “no-thing-ness” beyond all form. This is the open space of awareness itself, boundless and free, that which recognizes the Sacred. The Tanya points out that while we may think of the splitting of the Sea of Reeds as a great miracle, the far greater miracle is that there is a sea at all, that there is anything at all. The splitting of the sea was merely a manipulation of something that was already there, but the fact of Existence Itself is a bringing forth of יֵשׁ מֵאַיִן yesh me-ayin, Something from Nothing. The Maggid of Metzritch took this even further, saying that as great as the creation of the universe is יֵשׁ מֵאַיִן yesh me-ayin, Something from Nothing, even greater is our task: to transform the Something back to the Nothing – אַיִן מִיֵּשׁ ayin mi-yesh! Meaning: right now, as you read these words, the words are a something. You perceive the something, but what is it that perceives? The awareness that perceives is literally no-thing; it is that which perceives all particular things – all sensations, all sensory perceptions, all feelings, all thoughts, even our own sense of identity. This is the אַיִן ayin inherent in our own being, our innermost identity, not separate from the identity of Existence Itself, looking through our eyes, hearing through our ears. The other word for “nothing,” which has a negative implication, is הֶבֶל hevel, which could be translated as nothingness, futility, emptiness, or vanity. הֲבֵ֤ל הֲבָלִים֙ אָמַ֣ר קֹהֶ֔לֶת הֲבֵ֥ל הֲבָלִ֖ים הַכֹּ֥ל הָֽבֶל׃ Havel havalim – vanity of vanities – said Kohelet — vanity of vanities, all is vanity! – Kohelet (Ecclesiastes) 1:2 This famous opening line from Ecclesiastes springs from King Solomon’s disillusionment with all his experiences and accomplishments. He had everything, and could do anything he wanted – and yet, all was nothingness; everything comes and goes, a time for this and a time for that, nothing is really new, nothing really satisfies. The same word is used in the haftara: כֹּ֣ה אָמַ֣ר יְהוָ֗ה מַה־מָּצְא֨וּ אֲבוֹתֵיכֶ֥ם בִּי֙ עָ֔וֶל כִּ֥י רָחֲק֖וּ מֵעָלָ֑י וַיֵּֽלְכ֛וּ אַחֲרֵ֥י הַהֶ֖בֶל וַיֶּהְבָּֽלוּ׃ Thus says the Divine: What did your ancestors find in Me that was wrong, that they distanced themselves from Me and went after nothingness (hevel), and became nothingness? – Yirmiyahu (Jermiah) 2:4 Both these passages point to our human condition: we tend to make much of the hevel, running after this and away from that, but it is all for naught; we are going to “place of dust, worms and maggots.” Still, as the haftara implores, there is a way that leads to the Divine, that leads to Wholeness, beyond all the hevel, to the ayin. As the last line of Ecclesiastes says: ס֥וֹף דָּבָ֖ר הַכֹּ֣ל נִשְׁמָ֑ע אֶת־הָאֱלֹהִ֤ים יְרָא֙ וְאֶת־מִצְוֺתָ֣יו שְׁמ֔וֹר כִּי־זֶ֖ה כָּל־הָאָדָֽם The end of the matter, when all is heard: Be aware of the Divine and guard the mitzvot! For this is the Whole Person. Be aware of the Divine – that is, know the Ayin that underlies everything, the Ayin that is aware, right now, through you. Guard the mitzvot – that is, don’t act from the motive of running after or away from the hevel, but from service of the Source, the ayin from which all springs and to which all will return. Make That your identity. …אֵ֜לֶּה מַסְעֵ֣י בְנֵֽי־יִשְׂרָאֵ֗ל אֲשֶׁ֥ר יָצְא֛וּ מֵאֶ֥רֶץ מִצְרַ֖יִם These are the journeys of the Children of Israel who went out from the land of Egypt… The Divine has brought you to this moment to realize your inner freedom and has given you the only important choice there is, in this moment: to turn from the hevel of ego to the underlying Ayin of your deepest nature, and to sanctify this moment in which we find ourselves, in service of the One. This is the Path of ק Koof, sanctification of this moment.
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Rise Above the Mind; Realize Absolute Truth | Parshat Pinhas
Jewish Kabbalah Meditation ר Reish | Awaken Awe
Parshah Summary – P’shat
The parshah opens with Hashem rewards Aaron’s grandson, Pinhas, for a violent act of zealotry. In the midst of a plague caused by an idolatrous orgy between the Israelite men and Midianite women, a prince from the tribe of Shimon named Zimri, along with his partner, a Midianite princess named Cozbi, is killed by Pinhas at the end of the last parshah. Perhaps ironically, Pinhas’ reward is that he receives God’s Brit Shalom – “Covenant of Peace.”
In preparation for war with the Midianites, a census is then taken of men eligible for battle between the ages of twenty and sixty, numbering 601,730. Moses is then instructed on how the Land is to be divided by lottery among the tribes and families of Israel. The five daughters of Tzelofhad come forward and petition Moses that they be granted the portion of land belonging to their father, who died without sons; Hashem accepts their claim and incorporates it into the Torah’s laws of inheritance. Next, Moses is told to ascend a hill and view the Land, after which he will die, a consequence of his earlier act of striking a rock to draw forth water. Moses then empowers Joshua to succeed him by placing his hands upon him, which is the origin of s’miha, the ordination of rabbis and other Jewish spiritual leaders today. The parshah then concludes with a detailed list of the daily offerings, along with the additional (Musaf) offerings brought on Shabbat, Rosh Hodesh (first of the month), and the festivals of Pesakh, Shavuot, Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Sukkot and Sh’mini Atzeret.
Torah of Awakening | Jewish Meditation Teaching
Rabbi Yitzhak of Vorki told this story: “Once, when I was on the road with my holy teacher Rabbi David of Lelov, and stopped over in a town far from our home, a woman suddenly fell upon him in the street and began to beat him. She thought he was her husband who had abandoned her many years ago. After a few moments she saw her error and burst into tears. ‘Do not cry,’ Rabbi David said to her, ‘You were not striking me, but your husband.’ And he added in a low tone, ‘How often we cannot see the truth of what is right in front of us!’” (Adapted from Martin Buber’s Tales of the Hasidim)
Preconceptions are good- if an arrow is stuck in your body, you must assume that your wound is dangerous and attend to it right away. You should not waste time speculating about the intention of the person who shot the arrow. But later, when you do deal with the origin of the arrow, then it is better to let go of preconceptions so that you might discover the truth in an unbiased way. It is better to be open, to be in a state of asking rather than knowing, to know that you don’t know yet.
Questioning can be uncomfortable, because when we hold fast to certain beliefs, it often connects us with a certain tribe or group that hold the same opinions or beliefs. Questioning the beliefs of the group to which we belong can even be dangerous: וַתִּשְׁלַ֤ח אִיזֶ֙בֶל֙ מַלְאָ֔ךְ אֶל־אֵלִיָּ֖הוּ... Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah… - Melakhim Alef (1 Kings) 19:2, Sephardic Haftara for Parshat Pinhas In the haftara, Jezebel vowed to have Elijah killed for questioning the cult of Baal that the Israelites had adopted. Despondent, he left the world of people and went out into the wilderness to die. But then an angel came to him, gave him food and drink and commanded him: “Get up and eat!” He ate and drank a little, then lay back down again to die. The angel roused him again and gave him some more food: “You will need this for your journey ahead!” Elijah then seems to manifest super powers from the second meal; he gets up and walks for forty days and nights. Eventually he comes to a dark cave, and here he is shown a powerful vision of the natural world: great winds, earthquakes and fires. He looks for God in each of these phenomena, but he cannot find the Divine in any of these. Where does he find It?
ק֖וֹל דְּמָמָ֥ה דַקָּֽה
kol d’mama dakah “a still, small voice”
In other words, he finds the Divine within the stillness – he finds the sacred in the open space within which the storms of thought and feeling arise – the space of consciousness itself. And this is the deeper reason to know we don’t know. When we think we know, we identify with our beliefs; we identify with the stormy drama. But in the knowing that we don’t know yet, we open not only to finding out the external truth; we open to the truth of our own Being: the ק֖וֹל דְּמָמָ֥ה דַקָּֽה kol d’mama dakah, the stillness of consciousness that we are.
But how can we transcend our biases, when they seem so real? Paradoxically, you transcend our biases by admitting you have biases, because the admission objectifies it, which is the beginning of disidentification. Then, the bias is there, but you are no longer manipulated by it; you are above, beyond it, the one who sees it; the ק֖וֹל דְּמָמָ֥ה דַקָּֽה kol d’mama dakah – the small but powerful voice of stillness, rather than the loud voice of outrage and drama. This is meditation. So, when there is an arrow stuck in your body, attend to it without question. But when the thoughts begin about who shot the arrow, be the openness – be the stillness, the perception of your own bias; this is the beginning of wisdom, the symbol for which is the letter ר reish.
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Parshah Summary – P’shat
Once when I was back east in a rural area of Connecticut, I was walking outside, and a thought came into my mind: what happens if I see a bear? I should know what to do if I see a bear in the wilderness, but I couldn’t really remember. And then, all of a sudden, a big black bear appeared right in front of me! So I just became still and watched it. It slowly crossed the road in front of me, and then it just walked past me, behind me, to my left; it wasn't really concerned about me at all.
When people hear a story like this, they might think: does it mean that that I had a psychic premonition? Well, maybe, but of course we really don’t know; we can’t really know. It could just be a coincidence. It could also be that I actually saw the bear first unconsciously, and that caused the thought of the bear to arise in my mind. But the reason I'm sharing the story is because sometimes, especially in spiritual circles, we can get very concerned with supernatural things or seemingly supernatural things like psychic premonition. But there is something that I think is far more significant than anything supernatural or psychic; it is also a kind of premonition, but not a premonition of what happens in time, but more of a deep seeing into our own hidden motivations in the flow of life. Things are happening, we’re responding quickly to situations as they arise, and it can be difficult to really know why we do what we do. So the question is, can we develop this other kind of premonition, not of what’s coming in time, but rather, where we’re coming from; what our motivation is. This is crucial because fundamental to Jewish spirituality is that we experience a spectrum of motivation: on one end of the spectrum is wisdom, genuine love and benevolence, the desire to be of benefit and to support the wellbeing of those we encounter. That’s the spiritual depth that we often define as being human, in the sense of humanism. And then on the other end, we have the opposite: we also can be a deeply violent, angry, fearful and destructive species. So on the internal level, being able to see where we ourselves are coming from is so vital, probably much more important than any kind of supernatural or psychic premonition. וַיַּ֥רְא בָּלָ֖ק בֶּן־צִפּ֑וֹר אֵ֛ת כׇּל־אֲשֶׁר־עָשָׂ֥ה יִשְׂרָאֵ֖ל לָֽאֱמֹרִֽי׃ Balak son of Tzippor saw all that Israel had done to the Amorites… Balak king of Moab is frightened of the Israelites who are camping in a nearby valley, so he petitions the prophet/sorcerer Bilam to curse them. But as Bilam rides out on his donkey to the Israelite camp, something strange happens… וַתֵּ֨רֶא הָאָת֜וֹן אֶת־מַלְאַ֣ךְ יְהֹ-וָ֗ה... The donkey saw the angel of the Divine… Bilam rides his donkey through a vineyard, when an angel blocks the path with sword drawn. But only the donkey can see the angel; Bilam is oblivious to it. Bilam beats the donkey with a stick two times to get it to move, but the donkey veers off the path to avoid the sword-wielding angel, and accidentally presses Bilam’s foot into a wall. Bilam gets even angrier and beats his donkey even more, at which point… וַיִּפְתַּ֥ח יְהֹ-וָ֖ה אֶת־פִּ֣י הָאָת֑וֹן וַתֹּ֤אמֶר לְבִלְעָם֙ מֶה־עָשִׂ֣יתִֽי לְךָ֔ כִּ֣י הִכִּיתַ֔נִי זֶ֖ה שָׁלֹ֥שׁ רְגָלִֽים׃ Then Hashem opened the ass’s mouth, and she said to Balaam, “What have I done to you that you have beaten me these three times?” They argue a bit, then Bilam’s eyes are “uncovered” and he too sees the angel with the sword. Bilam bows, prostrates, apologizes, then continues up the mountain to curse the Israelite camps. But when Bilam opens his mouth, he utters a blessing instead… מַה־טֹּ֥בוּ אֹהָלֶ֖יךָ יַעֲקֹ֑ב מִשְׁכְּנֹתֶ֖יךָ יִשְׂרָאֵֽל׃ – Mah Tovu! How good are your tents, O Jacob, Your dwellings, O Israel! - Numbers 24:5 The donkey is your body – the beast you live in. You may think you want to say something, but your words will be a curse if you can’t “see the angel.” But the donkey sees it – and the donkey can talk, and if you know how to listen. What is the blessing that God “wants” you to say? Your body is the gateway to this awareness, if you become present. Bring awareness into your body, into your senses, before you open your mouth; this is meditation. What that means, of course, is not only that you should suddenly try to become present before you talk. It means that you should try to be present in general, so that you’re ready. Make it a habit to rest some of your awareness in the temple of the body, whatever you happen to be doing. Let your body be a welcoming space for awareness; this is the Path of ב Bet.
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Parshah Summary – P’shat
The parshah opens with Moses receiving the enigmatic laws of the “red cow,” whose ashes are used to purify a person who has been contaminated by contact with a dead body. The name of the parshah, Hukat, is a form of the word חוֹק hok, which means “decree” or “statute.” The hok referred to here is the opening passage about burning up a פָרָה אֲדֻמּה parah adumah – a completely red cow – and making a magic purification potion from the ashes. Due to the particularly obscure and bizarre nature of this practice, the rabbis came to see the word חוֹק hok to refer to any of the mitzvot that don’t seem to make rational sense.
Next, after forty years of journeying through the desert, the Children of Israel arrive in the wilderness of Zin. Miriam dies, and the people thirst for water. Hashem tells Moses to speak to a rock and that water will emerge from it. Moses gets angry at the rebellious Israelites and instead strikes the rock with his staff. Water issues forth, but Moses is told that neither he nor Aaron will enter the Promised Land. Aaron dies at Hor Hahar and his son Elazar becomes the Kohein Gadol (High Priest). After yet another eruption of discontent from the people, venomous snakes attack the Israelite camp. Moses makes an image of a serpent out of brass and mounts it upon a pole, after which all who gaze upon the brass serpent are healed. The people then sing a song in honor of the miraculous well which, in the merit of Miriam, had provided them water in the desert over their forty year journey, and of which the water from the rock was yet another manifestation. Moses leads the people in battles against the Emorite kings Sikhon and Og (who seek to prevent Israel’s passage through their territory), and conquers their lands, which lie east of the Jordan.
Torah of Awakening | Jewish Meditation Teaching
Once when I was on an airplane, the flight attendant came through the cabin and asked me what I wanted to drink. “I’ll have sparkling water with lime please,” which is what I always used to have. “We have lime flavored sparkling water, is that okay?”
No, that's not okay! That’s what I was thinking – but I said, “sure, thanks.” I had been getting sparkling water with lime on the plane all my life, and suddenly it was gone – and in its place, a cheaper substitute. “Lime flavor” is not the same and is not as good as a piece of real lime – on a number of levels – but business decisions like this get made all the time. So many products nowadays are worse than their predecessors. This phenomenon is sometimes called, “selling out.” “Selling out” means reducing the quality of something for the sake of monetary gain; it is an exchange of one value for another. But this doesn’t happen only in business; it is a basic ability we have to override our inner sense of what is right for the sake of something else we want. And, it’s not a bad ability to have, if used properly. For example, it’s good to exercise every day, to eat healthy food, to spend quality time with others, and so on. But what if there is an emergency – someone has a crisis and needs your help. It’s good to be able to put all those things on hold temporarily and take care of the crisis. In this kind of case, “selling out” your personal health for the sake of another value – helping someone in crisis – can be a good thing. It is good to not be so attached your own needs so that you can respond to the needs of the situation.The problem is when this ability to override – to “sell out” – takes over and becomes our norm. The problem is when we completely “sell out” in the realm of personal health for the sake of a career, for example; that’s when we get into trouble. This is why it’s so important to consciously choose and create our habits. We can break them when necessary, as long as we return to them. Don’t let the exception to the rule become the new rule! Many of us are full of unconscious habits – behaviors we took on for certain reasons – that have become our norm, without ever consciously choosing them. וְיִפְתָּ֣ח הַגִּלְעָדִ֗י הָיָה֙ גִּבּ֣וֹר חַ֔יִל וְה֖וּא בֶּן־אִשָּׁ֣ה זוֹנָ֑ה וַיּ֥וֹלֶד גִּלְעָ֖ד אֶת־יִפְתָּֽח׃ Jephthah the Gileadite was a powerful warrior; he was the son of a woman who was a prostitute; Gilead begat Jephthah. - Shoftim (Judges) 11:1 The haftora for Parshat Hukat tells the story of Jephtah, the son of a harlot. Jephtah’s half-brothers of the same father don’t want their son-of-a-harlot half-brother to share in their inheritance, so they kick him out of the house and send him away. Now Jephtah is a great warrior, and he attracts a band of men to form a militia, and they become his loyal companions. Years later, when the Ammonites attack Israel, the brothers come back to Jephtah and ask him to please come lead the fight against the Ammonites. “But you hated me and sent me away! Now you come back to me when you are in need?” The brothers offer him a deal: “If you come back and help us fight, then when it’s all over, we will make you our leader.” Japhteh is convinced – he “sells out” in a sense, giving up his sense of justice for the sake of prestige and status. Before Japhteh goes into battle, he prays: Oh Hashem, if you make me victorious, I will sacrifice to you whatever comes out of my house first when I return home! What?? This is very strange – what does he think is going to come out of his house? Sure enough, when he returns home, his daughter runs out to greet him, and he cries out in horror as he realizes he must sacrifice his own daughter. This is such a strange story. Obviously, if he vows to sacrifice “whatever comes out of his house,” he will end up sacrificing a family member; it’s not like a goat or sheep is going to run out of his house! But if we understand the story metaphorically, it makes sense as an illustration of this “sell-out” mentality. First, Jephtah is the son of a harlot, and prostitution “sells out” the sacred intimacy of relationship and family for the sake of monetary gain. Second, Jephtah agrees to help his betraying brothers fight for the sake of prestige; more selling out. Finally, he vows to sacrifice whatever comes out of his house if he wins. This is the clearest example – he’s willing to sacrifice the most precious thing at a future time for the sake of gaining something else in the short run. Then, he is surprised when it leads to tragedy – just as we too can be surprised when we unconsciously make bad choices for the sake of short term, relatively unimportant goals. On the deepest level, when it comes to how we use our own minds, “selling out” tends to be the norm for most of us. Meaning: Right now, we have something so precious – the most precious thing there is in fact – we have the ability to receive this sacred moment, to know the miracle of Being, in this moment. And yet, many of us unconsciously and unwittingly give up this most precious gift – for what? Mostly for useless thinking. Unaware of what we are even doing, we compulsively cover up this most precious thing with our constant stream of thoughts, just like our hand can cover our eyes and block out the entire sun. The mind has a certain illusory gravity; it says, “Pay attention to me! I have something urgently important!” But wake up to the majesty of this moment, and see: most thinking is a bogus urgency. Make it a habit to be spaciousness, to be openness, rather than busily thinking, and the miraculous becomes your norm. Yes, of course, sometimes you have to “sell out” – it’s okay – the situation will sometimes require you to get busy with your thinking, to rush around, to take care of business. Sometimes you have to put aside the most precious thing for the sake of the situation, but don’t make that the norm. When you can, come back in t’shuvah to Presence, come back to this moment, come back to the Divine as this moment – be the openness within which the fullness of this moment arises. In fact, our innate capacity to return from the trivial to the miraculous is encoded in Jephtah’s name – יִפְתָּֽח Yiftakh – which means, “will open.” No matter how much we have “sold out,” our potential to return to openness – to know ourselves as openness – is ever-present, and we can always do it from wherever we are, in the moment we recognize that we are. This is the Path of ע Ayin – of seeing deeply into the underlying, Ever-Present Miracle…
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